Spider Brains - Doing Science to Stuff for Reasons

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About Me

A silly man who enjoys writing silly things about stuff that most likely doesn't matter because my brain scuttles about like one of those annoying spiders you can never seem to squish. No matter how big your shoes.

Blogs I follow:

Theme by: Miguel
  1. Hold up! It’s long overdue for a brand new installment of ‘Things that need to fuck off, come back and fuck right off again’!  The Royal Mail. Lack of motivation. Bank fucks for screwing the world and getting paid for doing it. Scaremongering News fucks. Tectonic plate movement for fucking Japan (possibly twice). Aaaaaand back to a few months of silence before another one of these.  Y’all take care now.

    Hold up! It’s long overdue for a brand new installment of ‘Things that need to fuck off, come back and fuck right off again’! 

    • The Royal Mail.
    • Lack of motivation.
    • Bank fucks for screwing the world and getting paid for doing it.
    • Scaremongering News fucks.
    • Tectonic plate movement for fucking Japan (possibly twice).

    Aaaaaand back to a few months of silence before another one of these.  Y’all take care now.

  2. In the absence of my own creativity.

    I give you the lyrics to a song written by some one else!

    Hey kids, its time to use the “F” word

    Fuck fuck fuck fuck…

    …living
    Fuck dying,
    Fuck laughing
    Fuck crying
    Fuck this song,
    But mostly Fuck You
    Fuck love, hate and friends
    Fuck following trends,
    Fuck this song,
    Cant wait till it ends.

    Fuck everything,
    But fuck you the most
    Fuck everyone
    But fuck you the most,
    With a big rusty pole or a splintery post
    Yeah Fuck you the most, fuck you

    Fuck old school
    Fuck new school
    Fuck not cool
    Fuck too cool
    Fuck dim and ironically lame
    Fuck giving advice
    Fuck trying to be nice
    Fuck you and you know who you are

    Fuck everything,
    But fuck you the most
    Fuck everyone
    But fuck you the most,
    With a big rusty pole or a splintery post
    Yeah, Fuck you the most, fuck you

    Fuck you [repeat until the end]

    Another F.U. Song by Reel Big Fish

  3. Been a while so here’s a new round up of things that need to get to fuck! My own brain full of broken wiring (which seems to be breaking further by the day) Misleading eBay seller cock-smudges Writers Block (Still.) David Cameron (Moreso) The Digital Economy Bill - http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2010/apr/08/digital-economy-bill-passes-third-reading  Peace & Fucking.

    Been a while so here’s a new round up of things that need to get to fuck!

    Peace & Fucking.

  4. It’s goddamn 6:20am.  Welcome back insomnia my old friend!

    It’s goddamn 6:20am.  Welcome back insomnia my old friend!

  5. Language

    “I gt buildn wrk goin on! I wish i cud slp 4 100 yrz:-( ma head fls heavy!”

    Now a question.  What the juddering fuck is that?  English speakers, we have a complex and versatile language capable of weaving images and situations of such beauty that strong men are moved to tears.  Then some slack-jawed moron vomits that from brain to screen. There are six words spelt correctly in that (for want of a better word) sentence and one of them is “I”.  OK Seven if you assume she is actually speaking of partially digested food regurgitated for rumination purposes.

    Never let it be said I’m not fair-minded in my criticism of people I considered the following:

    Is this person perhaps mentally enfeebled in some way or too young to appreciate the image that such butchery of language paints of her? 

    No. This is someone who has apparently been educated to university level and is the same age as me.

    Perhaps this comment was done on the fly via a mobile device making proper spelling and so forth inconvenient?

    Again no, I checked it was seemingly done via a computer such as the one I’m managing to create coherent sentences on this very moment.

    Perhaps this person has been the victim of an accident or bizarre act of vandalism were many of the letters on her keyboard were rendered useless or capable of only intermittent functionality.

    Possible but unlikely.

    Is this person the inspiration for the Orks in the Warhammer universe?

    Again, possible but unlikely.

    My only conclusion is that she is simply too ignorant and/or lazy to write properly.  Though the laziness simply doesn’t fly with me.  Personally I am a fairly lazy chap, but the thought of writing like that seems like it would actually take more thought to consciously remove the vowels from almost everything I type.

    Don’t get me wrong, I use text speak, slang, Internetspeak and suchlike on a nigh-daily basis but mostly it’s to get a laugh or for simple convenience (‘thru’ instead of ‘through’ in a text).  Believe me I am no grammar-nazi and I do not claim perfect command over the English language but this kind of thing just seems like willful ignorance to me and it angers me more than it probably should.  This is merely and example, the straw that made the camel go on a pointless rant if you will.

    For those of you reading this and thinking ‘Judgemental prick’ - Yes, I am judging you because using our language like that makes you seem like an uneducated, underevolved fuck-spanner. 

    Please just spend a few extra seconds typing and save this poor mental patient an aneurysm.

  6. Things that need to fuck off #2 Eon Energy Eon Energy Eon Energy These FUCKERS have charged me almost £200 for one months worth of gas.  They claim in that month (nov-dec) that I used almost twice as much gas as I have since I left them up to now.  Bear in mind that after christmas was the time when half the fucking country froze for a week and my house has like ZERO insulation. Eon however have decided that their meter readings are 100% correct so I’m now in the process of attempting to get my fucking money back.  Intolerable cunts.

    Things that need to fuck off #2

    • Eon Energy
    • Eon Energy
    • Eon Energy

    These FUCKERS have charged me almost £200 for one months worth of gas.  They claim in that month (nov-dec) that I used almost twice as much gas as I have since I left them up to now.  Bear in mind that after christmas was the time when half the fucking country froze for a week and my house has like ZERO insulation. Eon however have decided that their meter readings are 100% correct so I’m now in the process of attempting to get my fucking money back.  Intolerable cunts.

  7. Things that need to get to fuck this week: The iPad (or the gusset frothing that went on over it). David Cameron. The need for sleep. Writers Block. Laziness. There are many more but bastard number 5 rears it’s ugly head.  Oh wait, one more all of you. That’s right even you.

    Things that need to get to fuck this week:

    • The iPad (or the gusset frothing that went on over it).
    • David Cameron.
    • The need for sleep.
    • Writers Block.
    • Laziness.

    There are many more but bastard number 5 rears it’s ugly head.  Oh wait, one more all of you. That’s right even you.

  8. Happy New Year

    It’s 4:45am on New Years Day 2010.

    Two Thousand and Ten.  Shouldn’t this be the future by now?  Ten years into the 21st Century we don’t appear to have made much headway towards ‘the future’.  I see no flying cars, aliens or robot-butlers, hell I don’t even see a clean-burning renewable fuel source or a way of supplying the planet with clean water. 

    My personal contribution to society thus far this millenium has been bugger all except moaning about the state of things.  I see slim chance of this changing.  I suppose some interesting things have happened:

    • Astrophysicists confirmed the age of the universe as 13.7 billion years old (Scientologists and Creationists disagree because they’re morons)
    • Windows Me, XP, Vista and 7 were released (none of them worked)
    • The Twilight saga happened (men all over the world now know who Edward and Jacob are but wish they didn’t)
    • The United States elected it’s first black president (sadly it wasn’t Morgan Freeman as we all hoped)
    • High Definition became the new standard in television, film and gaming (people still stuck in SD wonder if someone has shit in their eyes)
    • Terrorists Attacked the World Trade Centres in New York.  (Much of the world goes batshit insane and is yet to recover.)
    • Senator Palpatine became the new Pope. (Cardinals begin to receive Sith training)
    • We were told SARS, Bird Flu and Swine Flu would kill us all and rape our household pets (We remained alive and our pets were, for the most part, unmolested)
    • I got bored of writing this list about 3 items ago (but for some reason kept writing)

    You’ll have to forgive me but as is my habit when left alone with my thoughts late at night I tend to get a little pessimistic and bitter.  I know this.  You (might) know this.

    Happy New Year.  Let’s hope 2010 is the year our Alien Overlords arrive and sort things out.

  9. Yet another comics related post but I just remembered one of my all-time favorite series starts up again next week! It’s probably the first time I’ve actually been truly pumped and it’s going to be hard not to buy the issue rather than wait for the Trade Paperback as I have with all the rest. The comic has the simple name of Powers.  Created by Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Avon Oeming and it’s a Superhero (don’t groan)/Crime comic.  The stories centre mainly around a de-powered Superhero Christian Walker (Bottom Centre), and his foul-mouthed, rookie partner Deena Pilgrim (To his left) working in the ‘Powers’ division.   I’m not usually one for mystery/crime stories but Powers just draws you in with likeable, vulnerable characters and brilliant plots that surprise even someone like me who normally ruins ‘whodunnit’ type stuff for myself by guessing the ending.  All this awesome and I haven’t even gotten to the art, which always reminds me of the excellent Batman: The Animated Series with it’s clean lines and cool shading.  Anyways having read all 12 volumes thus far and being pumped for even more I can heartily recommend it :).  If anyone actually reads these things I promise I’ll try not to make the next post about comics!

    Yet another comics related post but I just remembered one of my all-time favorite series starts up again next week! It’s probably the first time I’ve actually been truly pumped and it’s going to be hard not to buy the issue rather than wait for the Trade Paperback as I have with all the rest.

    The comic has the simple name of Powers.  Created by Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Avon Oeming and it’s a Superhero (don’t groan)/Crime comic.  The stories centre mainly around a de-powered Superhero Christian Walker (Bottom Centre), and his foul-mouthed, rookie partner Deena Pilgrim (To his left) working in the ‘Powers’ division.   I’m not usually one for mystery/crime stories but Powers just draws you in with likeable, vulnerable characters and brilliant plots that surprise even someone like me who normally ruins ‘whodunnit’ type stuff for myself by guessing the ending.  All this awesome and I haven’t even gotten to the art, which always reminds me of the excellent Batman: The Animated Series with it’s clean lines and cool shading. 

    Anyways having read all 12 volumes thus far and being pumped for even more I can heartily recommend it :).  If anyone actually reads these things I promise I’ll try not to make the next post about comics!

  10. Quick pic of a comic a friend of mine put me onto. “The Losers” it’s a bit more cloak-and-dagger military conspiracy than my normal reading material but it’s still rather awesome.  I’ve still got half the second TPB to read which I’ll probably get to real soon.  Loving the art style and the writing is super sharp most of the time so check it out!  Also there’s a movie in the works for next year sadly no trailer for that yet though.

    Quick pic of a comic a friend of mine put me onto. “The Losers” it’s a bit more cloak-and-dagger military conspiracy than my normal reading material but it’s still rather awesome.  I’ve still got half the second TPB to read which I’ll probably get to real soon.  Loving the art style and the writing is super sharp most of the time so check it out!  Also there’s a movie in the works for next year sadly no trailer for that yet though.